ARE YOU GEN X OR MILLENNIAL?

One simple film question will settle the endless debate

That’s right, Medium Cool has done the work that sociologists and journalists never got around to doing: defining the beginning, ending, and in-between of Generation X and Millennials. And we’re doing it with one simple question…

What was the first Steven Spielberg film you saw in a theater?

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Jaws (1975)

Nice try sneaking in here, Boomer! You need a bigger boat...because you’re greedy. Gen X will never forgive you for hoarding capital, housing, and all the good punk and R’n’B vinyl. 

[Note: Turns out a lot of you, like a lot of you, were brought to Jaws far too young by parents who wanted to see the movie without thinking of the effect on you. Poor parenting by Boomers? That’s a solid Gen X marker! Move on to the next answer. This also goes for Close Encounters of the Third Kind.]

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Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

The one thing Boomers gave you, true Gen Xer, was their post-Watergate distrust of everything. Who could forget the final shot of the Ark of the Covenant being carted into a nondescript government warehouse? Not you! You were so angry you started a hardcore band, then refused to leave college. For years, most of your income was derived from road trips to thrift stores looking for ironic treasure. You are Indiana Jones in flannel and your children will eventually inherit a PixelVision camera.

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E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

If this was your first Spielberg film in a theater you are later Gen X and spent the 1980s raising yourself because you had one okay, struggling parent and one horrible one. But you correctly read E.T. as gay and this sets you on a path towards a gender studies degree and making riot grrrl zines well into your 20s to help soothe your inner child. 

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 Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

You’re getting near the end of peak Gen X. Let’s call all you edge-lords “Generation PG-13.” Your early cultural choices were informed completely by skate videos. Though you know what an angel dust high is like, and may have blown up a stolen car or two, you’ll pull it together by the time you’re in your 30s and campaign for Obama. 

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Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

This is where it gets strange, almost like having two generations of Dr. Joneses in one film. You can either claim to be Gen X when you’re convincing your mother you’re old enough to go to Lilith Fair, or a Millennial when you talk about 9/11 happening when you were just a kid and that you didn’t understand what was going on. (You were actually 21 and working at Borders Books.)

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Hook/Jurassic Park (1991-93)

You’re a Millennial and your Gen X sibling has brought you to the theater even though you’re probably too young for these and still kind of into Barney. You’ll blame them for the trauma and process your emotions by spending the rest of the 1990s screaming along to nu metal. Your cohort single-handedly revives the entire therapy and piercing industries. 

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The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)

You are the end of all things Millennial and for some reason you share a lot of memes about orcas attacking super yachts while nurturing a low-key Julianne Moore obsession. It’s probably because of this movie. Well, that and the fact that the Boomers bankrupted the economy by the time you were in adulthood. Thankfully you and Gen X rediscover socialism together in time to try and turn it around. 

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