DON’T BELIEVE THE SWIPE

Hooking up with a community will help with your hookups

I’m newly ENM, a gender nonconforming married bisexual cis-man, and 47. I have so far found apps like Hinge, Tinder, and Feeld to be unsuccessful in finding dates or other poly people to connect with, nor are the majority of my friends open to being open. How can I meet more people like me, both for community and to date?

Dating is its own flavor of hell for everyone and dating as a married, newly poly man comes with its unique hurdles. I hate to tell you this, but it may be tougher for you for a number of reasons.

To a poly woman, for example, you could be seen as high risk, particularly one who doesn’t want to be you and your partner’s training wheels. People who are new to polyamory are going to be less experienced in setting boundaries and managing conflict with their partner while having another relationship. Poly women in particular have to sift through a lot of attached poly men who have no idea what they actually want or what they can realistically offer. I’m certainly not sayin…