LICENSE TO DATE

Are we ever really ready for relationships?

I feel like I should get my life/mental health in order before I seriously date, but at the same time, I’m lonely and crave companionship. I don’t enjoy casual sex without a sustained emotional connection, so I’m not looking for one-night stands. In other words, how do you recommend seeking out companionship/navigating dynamics with someone who is more than a friend, but not a Relationship? Additionally, do you feel it’s healthier to fix one’s fraught mental health/self-image before pursuing romantic entanglements? HELP!

At the beginning of relationships, people become what psychologist Lori Gottlieb calls, an ambassador of the self, a confident spokesperson for who you are and what you’re about. This period lasts for a couple of months until people feel comfortable enough to show their actual flaws and vulnerabilities. It’s hard to be a good ambassador of yourself when you feel like your life is imploding and every date essentially requires you to carefully avoid reporting on the disi…